There are times when life brings you to a point where you doubt His existence. Believer or not, each of us might have gone through this question at least once…to me it happened at a point when I was going through a tough transition in life.
Believer friends counseled me…talked to me about faith. But over my head it all went. It made me all the more rebellious against a “higher” power. A higher power that was not ready to answer my questions. I questioned His existence, His love for me.
“If He is the all powerful, why can’t He come down and show me signs of his existence? If He loves me so much the way He claims He does, I want answers,” I rebelled. I was not going to have blind, illogical faith.
And nobody could really bring me back to that faith I thought I had in Him.
It’s been nearly an year now since I’ve begun this ride of confusion. Sometimes I returned to Him, but it never felt the same. I needed something palpable.
But once again, out of the blue He spoke to me, this time through a church sermon. I just got what I had wanted.
Hebrews 11:1- Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
It was like bells ringing in my head.
We have read about the woman who was healed when she touched Jesus’ clothing. She was bleeding for twelve years and couldn’t be healed. According to the Jewish law, she is unclean and to be shunned. Anyone who touches her would be considered unclean. She had faith that if she just touches the edge of His cloak, she would be saved. And that’s how it was.
What we need is faith in the power behind the miracles, not in the miracle itself…not in mere signs and wonders.
I know He is and that He will be the lord above all. I know what He has done for me, the paths we have taken together and how he has cornered me through life.
Each of us know it…and even if we doubt it, we’ll return to Him.
Our relationship with Him is such that voidness comes without Him...and we can always feel the pull back to him.And yes, He does show you signs of His love, His existence…just like He showed me today. He doesn’t let you go that easily.
