My date with Immanuel

This is an entry I had typed out in 2009 on a friend's laptop, at a time I missed Jesus a lot...it was during a break in the relationship I shared with Him.Here I'm confused and turn around to those days when I had come to faith.

When I turn around and look (as usual...that’s what I’ve always done in life!!), I remember those times, beautiful first-time moments when I had just fallen in love....madly in love with the most handsome guy whom I’ve ever met. Well, every girl would say the same thing about her beloved...there’s nothing great about that, right? Those times, the tingly feeling of butterflies in my ever’-hungry tummy, the joy that knew no bounds, music in the air always...just can’t put these feelings down in words...the best feeling ever known to mankind-the feeling of “falling in love”.

I just don’t know how to explain the excitement...even the very thought of a date with him, sends a chill down my spine, smiles rush out, from I do not know where...those night outs with him, lovely moments... tears shared, secrets that nobody else knows.

Times have passed...do beautiful feelings eventually come to an end? Has a second person, a third person or has infinite number of people crept in between? I simply do not know. 

I miss that unexplained joy...the presence of an invisible shoulder on which I lean on to, when my so-called strong wings could carry me no more. What’s happened to us? I know he’s still the same...my love... the person who loves me more than himself that he would give up his life for me, and I mean that literally. He has been my "bestest" friend  and I know that although I’ve drifted, I am still his best friend...he doesn’t have anyone else u see....he’s a one- woman man!!!!!Just kidding!!!!!!!

I miss him...every moment...an empty space between that nobody can fill...a vacuum within the deepest corners of my soul...that no physical or human sciences can account for. I want to be back with him because at the end of each day...at the end of every giggle or smile...at the end of a busy day...at the end of a tear that might have fallen down or maybe hidden...at the end of every unexpressed pain...at the end of every unsaid word........at the end of it all... it’s only he who matters......    

... MY IMMANUEL....MINE AND MINE ALONE... (Possessive, eh?????) I don’t care...